User blog:STrangE AdVenT/Random Comedy Skits
Prelude ' {A lone figure stands in a grassland looking up. He is BF1. A huge swirly portal thing opens up and 3 MOCs fall out. Screaming is heard. They are Baka, Karkon, and Artack. Screaming is heard. Karkon lands gracefully on his feet. Baka lands on his head. Artack lands in his mask.} Karkon: Who are you? Me: WHO AM I? Your master! Your creator! Your alpha! Your Omega! Karkon: BF1..... Me: Yes, it's me! Baka: Woah... Creator. You're bio mechanical! Me: Indeed I am! I even have fingers! *Waves his MOC fingers.* Karkon: *Looks around* Why are we still here? Baka: I thought we were going to do bigger and better things? Artack: This unit detects we are on the LEGO Message Boards. Quality sensor...failing..... Me: We were, but I can't do stop motion right now. Besides you all were not being used before. Karkon: But everyone else is gone, you don't see guys like Macedonia hanging around anymore... {Suddenly Macedonia in his Self MOC form appears right behind them.} Macedonia: Hello. *Waves* Me: Hey, wait a second.. If this is your self MOC, why are you Artaxxn?(Can't spell.) Something isn't adding up here. Also your MOC is taller than me so I feel short. Be gone! {Macedonia is sent flying off into the horizon.} Karkon: You are a psychopath. Me: Anyway.. This time there is going to have to be some changes around here. Different characters! Different characterization! Different guest stars! Baka: I missed this place. Artack: This unit has been programmed to make sci if references. *R2-D2 beeps.* Me: Correct! Now I am not sure what characters will appear in this series so.. I'll have to make due with you 3 for now. More skits coming soon! {Meanwhile... Behind a tree, a spooky scary skeleton watches them. Oooh spooky. He runs off and jumps into a rabbit hole, where a bunch of other skeletons are playing cards. Oooh spooky. } Skeleton: Guys I need to speak to.. Our master. {Two red and blue eyes appear from the shadows. It is.... Makuta Shadock. Refugee from the Mata Universe.} Shadock: What is it my servant? Skeleton: It's Biofan! He's making a new comedy series! With those Matoran.. And Karkon! Shadock: Oh.. So he makes a new comedy series, and uses the same characters again? Instead of me?! He shall pay for this! Pay.. I say pay! Makuta Shadock swears this! Keep spying on him and being spooky. {Shadock creeps back into the shadows.} Skeleton: He's creepy. Shadock: Just because you can't see me, doesn't mean I can't hear you! End of line. ----- '''Episode 1 ' {The setting is Metru-Nui. Karkon is living In a comfortable apartment. Except he's not, cause this is Okotoverse. He's living in a hut. The scenery is nice though.} Karkon: Meh. {On the horizon, Baka, Artack, and me walk towards the hut. Cheesey intro music plays.} Me: *humming* Baka: Karkon! Karkon! Look what we found! *He holds a golden Mask of Power belonging to Tahu. * Karkon: Where did you get that? BF1: Artack found it. {Flashback to Tahu lava surfing, while the Protector of Fire is buried under Skull Spiders. } PoF: Leave me. It's too late! Tahu: It's never too late! {Tahu reaches for his golden mask.. But it's not there. He looks ahead and sees Artack with the it.} Artack: *Observing it* Shinnny {Tahu trips and falls on his mask.} Karkon: That mask is trouble! And important to canon! *Arms crossed* Artack: Question: What is "canon?" Karkon: *Pointing* Put that back immediately! Skull Spiders are going to swarm us. Me: Oh those things? How are they going to stop us? How do they even see us, or take control of us? Wouldn't they have to get a running start and jump backwards and hope they land on our face? We ran into the same problem with the Bohrok {Flashback to me sitting against a wall, with a line of Bohrok lining up to fire their Krana at him. They fire.... And completely miss. But one of them of course hits Lewa.} Onua: Lewa... Not again! {Flashback over.} Me: Just seems inefficient if you ask me. Karkon: Just do it. {Baka has put the mask on top of the mask proudly displaying it.} Karkon: You know what? You 3 are just going to have to suffer the consequences! *Storms off.* {Everyone stands around in silence.} Me: Meh. {It is night, and off in the distance a swarm of Skull Spiders can see the mask. They crawl to it. Meanwhile in a science lab, Artack has caught a Skull Spider. He places it next to 2 radioactive machine Rays. He presses a button, and the Skull Spider becomes radioactive!} Artack: This unit has achieved... Science! {The Skull Spider runs off into the jungle.} Artack: I'll have to catch it again later. {Also.. Forgot to mention. Tahu sees the mask too, and promptly heads to it.} {The next day, marching is heard lots of marching. And singing too! The singing wakes everyone up.} Artack: This unit does not sleep. {They look over the hill they are and see an army of Skull Spiders marching. And worst of all singing!} Skull Spiders: WE HAVE COME TO TAKE TAKE YOUR LIVES. HOORA! HOORA! WE HAVE COME TO TAKE YOUR MASK. HOORA! HOORA! THE SKULL SPIDERS MARCH ON AND ON! {Also Tahu is coming too. Tripping and falling on Skull Spiders, but still coming.} Tahu: Uh excuse me coming through. Fighter of evil here. {Tahu falls on Skull Spiders and they carry him off. The Skull Spiders form a line.} Baka: Are they about to do a parade? *Claps hands* {Then the massive.. LORD OF THE SKULL SPIDERS come outs. *Now available to buy!} Karkon: Ugh.. Product placement. Me: I don't suppose anyone packed any bug repellant right? {Everyone stares at me.} Me: Guess not. Anyway looks like we have a fight on our hands. The LOSS points it's leg signaling "ATTTACCCKKK!" Skull Spiders charge. Still singing.} Baka: *Picks up Skull Spiders and throws them at other Skull Spiders* {Skull Spiders try to jump on me but they keep missing.} Me: I saw this coming. Karkon: *Whips Skull Spiders with his tentacles.* Tahu: *Shoots fire at some Skull Spiders, setting fire to Artack's lab* Artack: My experiments! Tahu: Sorry I'm still kind of new to this thing. *A glowing Skull Spider jumps on his hand.* AHHHH IT BIT ME! *Soon Tahu's eyes turn white and become larger* I can feel the pain! *His color scheme changes to red and blue.* Oh wait I can feel the powah! THE SPIDER POWAH! I AM SPIDER-TAHU! Thwip! Thwip! *Spider-Tahu fights off the Skull Spiders with his new powers.* {I land next to the LOSS.} Me: Come at me spider bro. LOSS: *Charges roaring* Me: *Jumps on LOSS's back* Woo hoo! I'd just like to point out that spiders have 8 legs, and you only have 6! You're not LOSS, you're Lord of The Insects! *I cause LOSS to run off a cliff.* I didn't think this through.... CRASHHHHHHHHH BOOOOOMMM BANNNNGGG OTHER SOUNDS {Up above the other Skull Spiders are now retreating. Our heroes stand victorious. I climb up the cliff while the LOSS crawls away.} Me: Well Tahu, we're sorry for taking your mask. Would you like it back? Spider-Tahu: *Laughs* I don't need that mask anymore, I'm Spider-Tahu! Keep it but protect it. With Great Goldenness comes Great EVILLLLLL. Farewell strange villagers. *Spider-Tahu swings on a web line away.* Karkon: You said sorry. Me: It's a new era Karkon. Now we should build a shack to hide that golden mask in. Baka: *Carrying a Skull Spider* Can I keep him? Artack: My lab is still on fire. End of Comedy. '''BONUS Spider-Tahu '''Spider-Tahu, Spider-Tahu Does whatever a spider can Spins a web, any size, then sets it on fire Catches Makuta just like flies Look Out! Here comes the Spider-Tahu. Is he strong? Listen bud, He's got radioactive blood. Can he swing from a thread Take a look overhead Hey, there There goes the Spider-Tahu In the chill of night At the scene of a attack Like a streak of fire He arrives just in time or when we don' need him Spider-Tahu, Spider-Tahu Friendly Okoto Spider-Tahu Wealth and fame He's adored Action is his reward. To him, life is a great big fire. Wherever there's a hang up You'll find the Spider-Tahu! {We turn to where the Toa Okoto stand united against the LOSS, then suddenly Spider-Tahu swings in.} Spider-Tahu: SPIDEERRRRRRR TAAAAAAHHHHUUUUUUU Kopaka: Tahu you fool! Spider-Tahu: Shut up Kopaka. *Webs Kopaka's mouth shut.* LOSS prepare to be beaten! *Webs up LOSS.* LOSS: *Easily escapes* Spider-Tahu: Hmmm it seems like my spider powers are useless against another spider. *Spider-Tahu hides behind the other Toa.* Do your jobs! Lazy Other Toa: *Sigh* Onua: ONUA SMASH! *Smashes LOSS, and it falls off a cliff.* Other Toa: Yay Onua. *They clap.* Spider-Tahu: Onua.... How can you rival you my power? Onua: Puny Bug-Toa, future comedy will explain Onua's new powers! End of Comedy. '''Episode 2 {Today, we open up.., on a new MOC, previously unseen in my comedies. He is a Toa of Ice. He is KoKo. KoKo is living with our main cast. He is with Karkon.} KoKo: Hello Karkon, how are you? Karkon: How come you're talking to me? Shouldn't Toa of Ice be cold? KoKo: No brother. That's stereotyping I'm one of the friendliest Toa you'll ever meet! *Hugs Karkon* Karkon: Why are you hugging me? KoKo: To show you I'm friendly. We're disproving stereotypes together. Karkon: Let go! KoKo: No! {I walk up.} Me: What if instead of disproving stereotypes, you're just creating new ones? KoKo: 0_0 I'm going to stop hugging you now. Let's do something else,brother. *He drags Karkon outside with him.* {Baka walks holding his pet Skull Spider. Artack is chasing him.} Artack: You cannot keep that creature in the house! Baka: Hey! His name is Kritanta! And I must walk him, Artack: It doesn't have a name. Baka: Yes, he does. He told me so.... Telepathically. Artack: That is impossible for such a creature to do. Baka: Our creator said I can keep him! Besides he's friendly. Artack: It tried to attack me. Baka: It's friendly to everyone but you. Artack: This unit shall prove to you that creature is evil. Baka: *Exits the hut.* Artack: *Follows* Me: I wonder if I'll do anything this episode besides write it. {Back with Karkon and KoKo. They are hiding in some ferns.} Karkon: What are we doing here? KoKo: *Hides Karkon in the ferns.* Get down! loooook. *He points and they see the Toa Okoto* {The Toa Okoto appear to be arguing with Spider-Tahu.} Kopaka: Tahu.. Your web lines are tangling up the wildlife. Gali: And you're webbing up any villagers that look suspicious. Lewa: And 99% of the time they weren't evil. Spider-Tahu: But I must use my powers to fight EVILLLLL Pohatu: *Holding ears.* Quit shouting evil. KoKo: *All giddy* It's the Toa Nuva. Eeeeee! Karkon: This is a different universe. Reboot universe. KoKo: They're still the heroes I most admire! I must meet them. Karkon: Woah, wait we've already changed the course of canon enough with Spider-Tahu. We should not risk doing it again. {KoKo is already talking to them.} Gali: Were... You spying on us? KoKo: Yes, but I'm your biggest fan! Lewa: We don't even know you! KoKo: Oh I'm sorry I'm KoKo. I'm a Toa like you. Also I'm a pretty good dancer. Onua: Onua would like to see Puny Toa dance. KoKo: *Does a weird tap dance and snapping his claws. A spotlight shines on him.* Onua: Ha Ha Ha! Onua think Puny Toa is funny. He should hang out with us. Other Toa: Agreed. KoKo: Me really? *Jumps for joy.* HOORAY! Lewa: We were just about to head into the coliseum over there. *Points* KoKo: Seems ominous. Karkon: *Still in the ferns.* Greaaattt. {We cut to Baka and Kritanta. Baka is on a playground.} Baka: Slide on the slide Kritanta. *He puts Kritanta on the slide.* Kritanta: *Loud rolling and crashing is heard.* Baka: *Goes to the bottom.* Yay, you're A Okay! New friend! *Claps* Artack: *Hiding in ferns with a retro camera.* Baka: *Takes Kritanta to sand pit.* Bury me Kritanta! Bury me! Kritanta: *Burrows in the sand covering himself up.* Baka: The sand isn't that deep. I can still see you. You don't seem to understand the concept of this game. Or playgrounds in general. *He puts Kritanta on his shoulders and runs around.* {Another child villager enters the playground. It is Bingzak} Baka: Hello, how old are you? Bingzak: 7 Baka: We're the same age yay! Kritanta: *Knocks off Bingzak's mask, and takes control of him.* Artack: *Runs towards them taking too many pictures and pointing at them* I told you! I told you! Baka: What? This isn't evil. Artack: *Arms crossed.* How so? Baka: Kritanta is just borrowing Bingzak's body. Kritanta: *Thumbs up to Artack* Baka: He'll give it right back after he's done. Right Kritanta? Kritanta: *Nods* Artack: This unit is not purchasing it. *He tries to force Kritana off of Bingzak's body.* Kritanta: *Smacks Artack* Artack: *Smacks back.* Baka: Smack fight! {Back to the Toa Okoto and KoKo. Karkon is following them into the coliseum, but is trying to hide. Suddenly a Skull Warrior pops up from the ground. Spooky. However the Skull Warrior is stuck. It tries to grab our heroes but can't reach them.} Skull Warrior: Roar! Roar! Come a little closer please. KoKo: Would you like some help getting out of the ground? Skull Warrior: Well yes, now that you mention it. KoKo: *Pulls the Skull Warrior from the ground.. And it turns out to have no legs.* Skull Warrior: My legs?! Where are my legs?! {Back in Kulta's lair.} Kulta: That guy had some good legs. {Flashback over.} Skull Warrior: You know.. Just leave me on the ground. Let the cooler Skull Creatures with legs fight you instead. I'm just going to cry for a while. Kopaka: Let's move on. {Everyone continues walking ignoring the Skull Warrior.} Karkon: Okay, so in this canon, Lewa needs to be possessed by a Skull Slicer. {A Skull Slicer appears behind Karkon.} Karkon: *Turns around and punches it. Knocking it's mask off* Perfect! {The Toa Okoto are walking through the coliseum, facing hordes of Skull Creatures. Lewa strays away from the group while fighting. He is near an alley. When suddenly he is grabbed by Karkon. He is placed back with a Skull Slicer mask.} Slicer: *Charges at the other Toa, but then KoKo freezes him in a block of ice.* Gali: That was our teammate! KoKo: Ohhhhh Kopaka: It's alright.. Just unfreeze him. KoKo: I don't have a very good handle of my elemental powers yet.... Kopaka: I can't unfreeze him, it's your ice! Gali: There's nothing we can do with him now, we should go save Ekimu! {They all run off to the graveyard, Karkon goes to the frozen Lewa.} Karkon: *Knocks on the block of ice.* This wasn't supposed to happen. I should free him. *Karkon whips off his tentacles setting Slicer free.* Slicer: ARGGHHH, he's regaining control! Lewa: I am... Free? You strange looking one give me back my mask. *He tries to take off the Slicer mask but it's stuck.* No! I'm cursed with this ugly thing as my face! And my team left me here!....I shall have my revenge on them! I will return! *Lewa flies off* Karkon: And now things are worse. {Back in the graveyard, Onua is smashing all the Skull Creatures. Also priceless artifacts and graves. They all run into Ekimu's tomb, where they find Kulta... The Skull Grinder!} Kulta: Ah.. The Toa. Wait.. What's wrong with you Toa? Wheres Lewa? Spider-Tahu: I'm Spider-Tahu! Onua: Onua has new powers! Gali: Lewa is in a block of ice. KoKo: I'm tagging along! Kulta: Okay...Well... I'm going to destroy you all! Spider-Tahu: Everyone CHARRRRGGGGEEEE WHAMMMMMMMMMM! Everyone is smacked by Kulta. Spider-Tahu: I did not see that coming. That really hurt. Kulta: You see Toa, you're all doomed. {Suddenly we hear a large crackle of thunder. And Vezon's BIONICLE Heroes Theme plays. a cloaked figure stands at the entrance. One cloaked in green! It is Lewa.} Kulta: Lewa? Lewa: I am no longer just Lewa. I AM DOCTOR LEWA DOOM! I didn't see that coming. Kulta: This is getting really weird. Anyway.. Even if you have a new name you can't stop me DLD: Ha.. Ignorant Skull Grinder! Doctor Lewa Doom cannot be beaten! Kulta: Arrogant I see. {The other Toa lie on the ground.} KoKo: We must do something. {Kulta and DLD charge at each other.} KoKo: *Freezes the ground.* {The 2 villains begin slipping and sliding until they slam into each other, knocking each other out. Everyone stands up.} Spider-Tahu: This new Toa, saved us all! He is a true hero. {Then Ekimu puts his mask back on.} Ekimu: *Looks outside.* TOA! You destroyed my graveyard! Such disrespect for the unliving! *Points to the exit* I want you all out! Gali: But we saved your mask. Ekimu: OUT! {Everyone exits. Back to Artack and Kritanta. Bet you completely forgot about that subplot. Anyway they're still smacking each other.} Artack: *Manages to knock Kritanta off Bingzak's face. Kritanta runs off into the jungle.* Baka: Kritanta! Nooooo! *Runs off into the jungle after him.* Artack: This unit must follow! Bingzak: That was the most terrifying experience of my life. {Back at the hut, Karkon and KoKo arrive at the hut. I am watching TV.} Me: So how was your day guys? KoKo: I met my heroes! One of them turned evil. Karkon: I indirectly turned Lewa into a Marvel Comics Super villain. Me: Very interesting. Wait a second. Where's Baka and Artack? Their subplot should have finished by now. Karkon: You're right... They should have been here by now. Me: That can only mean one thing. Their subplot continues into the next episode! End of Comedy 'BONUS Ekimu Aftermath ' {Ekimu is picking up pieces of Skull Creatures out on his graveyard. Behind, Doctor Lewa Doom and Kulta are chained together. They are arguing.} Kulta: Bah, without your interruption I would have destroyed the Toa! Doctor Lewa Doom: Oh really you the Skull Grinder.. bested by ice? Kulta: How many times do I have to tell you you slipped on the ice too? Ekimu: Quiet you 2! The Protectors will soon be here to put you into prison. Kulta: I swear.. Ekimu when I get out of here, I will steal your Mask of Creation and do whatever I was going to do with before the Toa got there! Ekimu: You don't even know what you were going to do with it. Kulta: What?! I do too! I.. Simply forgot. DLD: Ha! You did forgot old fool! Kulta: Stop calling me that! Ekimu... Make him stopppppp! DLD: No! You make him stop being a old fool first! Ekimu: *Sigh* Lewa... DLD: DOCTOR LEWA DOOM! Ekimu: Whatever. What made you from being a Toa Hero to a incompetent Saturday Morning Cartoon Villain? DLD: WHY...What do villains always strive for? Kulta: Shiny masks? DLD: No you dolt! REVENGE! Ekimu: And that explains your random completely out of character transformation? DLD: Well uh... You're short! Ha ha ha! *Points at Ekimu* Ekimu: This was not worth getting out of the coffin for. End of Comedy 'Episode 3 ' {We open up with me at my computer... Worried. I'm typing quickly. Karkon is right behind me.} Me: I've come to the conclusion that Baka.. And Artack are lost! And this subplot might take 3 episodes to finish! Karkon: Subplots are for drama, not comedies. You need to summon a MOC who can track. Me: We need a new MOC. Someone who can track them! He shall be a Toa of Earth! {Suddenly a knock at the door is heard. Karkon answers the door. It is the Protectors of Okoto.} Protector of Fire: Please we need your help! To save all of Okoto! Me: I have my own problems right now, can't Karkon help? PoF: No, we need your help to finish off the LOSS. Karkon: What about the Toa? PoF: They are licking their wounds after the last battle. Me: I'll do it. Karkon this computer program will create the new MOC to track Baka and Artack. You will help him. Karkon: I'll do it.. *hesitant* Sir. Me: *Salutes Karkon and I leave with The Protectors.* PoF: As the only Protector with lines, I shall explain our story. The LOSS has regrouped with its fellow Skull Spiders and they plan to strike back! However.. We know that The Golden Mask of Skull Spiders is in the cave, heavily protected. That mask is the key to stopping all Skull Spider attacks for good! Me: And why did you pick me? PoF: You defeated the LOSS alone. Me: That is true, with my leadership we shall be a formidable team. PoF: Actually... I'm still leading. You will follow my orders. Me: Well I feel less important, but you're probably the better leader anyway. They continue onward into the jungle. Then we go back to the Skull Spider cave, where we have found the LOSS. It has its back turned speaking to its fellow Skull Spiders.} Me: Ah Lord of The Skull Insects... We meet again. LOSS: *Turns around* Me: You'd think falling off a cliff twice would finish you off, but apparently not. {Hundreds of Skull Spiders attack them, but The Protectors fire their stud launchers at all of them holding them off. After all the Spiders have been dealt with, all that remains is the LOSS.} Me: Alright, I propose a plan. Use your stud launchers to hit it again so we can all go home. PoF: We have a problem. Me: And what might that be? PoF: We're out of ammo. Me: Just pick up the ammo! PoF: We don't pick it back up. Once we shoot them, we never find them again. Why do you think there's a stud shortage in Okoto? Me: Looks like we'll have to improvise. LOSS: *Roars and webs everyone up. Crackles a evil laugh.* Me: Was that an evil laugh or just coughing? LOSS: *Roars in my face.* PoF: None of us can escape this web, we're doomed! Me: Ha! That's what you think. *I claw through some of the web and reach to the PoF. Taking off his mask.* PoF: Stop! I need that! Me: *I throw his mask like a boomerang and it bounces back and forth around the cave, even cutting us free from the web.* Alright.. Everyone out of the cave! *I grab the Golden Skull Spider mask as we run out.* {A loud rumbling is heard, and a cave in starts! We all run out of the cave, the LOSS chases after us, but is it by the PoF mask. The cave in consumes him. We all exit the cave safely.} PoF: A cave in? Boy I wish we'd have thought of that. Hey.. Wait where's my mask? Me: Uhhh. *I hand him the Golden Skull Spider mask* PoF: I can't wear this! I'll scare the villagers! Me: You could dig out your mask from the rubble over there. PoF: *Takes the golden mask.* Hmph Me: I'm afraid I must be going, there's a subplot that needs finishing. Nice teaming with you 6. *I salute them and run off.* {Back with Vor and Karkon. Vor is sniffing a leaf.} Vor: *Points straight* This way! {Then they Artack! He is upside down tangled in vines.} Karkon: Found one. Artack: This... Unit...wants to go home now. Vor: There! *Points* {They see Baka on a log chasing Kritanta. And then in a moment they are gone. Our heroes jump over and investigate following Baka. They then see Baka standing in front of a huge temple.} Baka: Kritanta went into there! {Karkon examines the temple and it reads "God of Death." Inside Kritanta crawls to a purple Skull Spider mask. It is glowing. Kritanta crawls on it and he starts glowing purple and increasing in size. Soon a large creature emerges from the temple.} Creature: I am Kritanta! And all of Okoto shall perish! Karkon: That thing is too powerful to handle, fall back! Kritanta: Yes! Run pathetic creatures! {The MOCs fall back to the hut. Where I am waiting for them. KoKo is with me. Along with the Toa and Protectors.} Me: Alright... Everyone it seems we're facing the biggest challenge we've ever faced right now. We all need to band together to stop that thing! TBC 'BONUS What KoKo Did In This Episode ' KoKo: Hello? Anybody here? Why did they leave me all alone? Diary Entry 0: My name is KoKo and I've been left home alone. I'm writing this down if nobody ever comes back. Diary Entry 1: I practiced my dance moves by watching The Piraka dance in BIONICLE Heroes KoKo: *Dancing* You got the moves Avak! Diary Entry 2: Watched a toy review on the computer. Computer: I give the KoKo MOC 2 stars. KoKo: Only 2? Diary Entry 3: I was hungry, so I talked to some villagers to see what food there was. They were eating bugs. Ew. So I said "No thank you" and ran away screaming. Diary Entry 4: Talked with Kopaka KoKo: Now I saw the video.. And you totally slipped. Kopaka: I didn't slip. KoKo: Yes you did. Don't lie to me. Kopaka: I didn't slip. KoKo: Then what was that I saw in the video? Looked like slipping to me! Kopaka: It was... Not slipping. KoKo: *Storms off* Diary Entry 5: Tried to snowboard KoKo: *Snowboarding* WOO HOOO Villager: Wait stop! What have you done?! KoKo: Made that mountain a snowboarding mountain! Villager: You can't do that! KoKo: *Confused* Why not? Villager: This is the fire village! KoKo: Oh... Uh oh Villager: Clean this up! Diary Entry 6: Spent several hours cleaning up my ice. Diary Entry 7: OH MY GOSH THERE'S A GIANT MONSTER! Oh hey my creator is back. End of Diary 'Episode 4 ' {Kritanta is destroying random trees.} Artack: *To Baka* I told you it was evil! Baka: *Sits on the ground looking away.* Me: Artack, we have bigger things to worry about right now. KoKo: Maybe it will be content destroying trees. {Kritanta starts to head towards the villages.} KoKo: Darn giant monsters! Why can't they be satisfied destroying things without people! Karkon: We have to act fast. Vor: Perhaps we should build a giant robot to fight it. Protector of Fire: No, we all must fight it together! We are heroes of Okoto! Everyone except Baka: Yeah! {Everyone then charges to fight Kritanta, while Baka is still sitting. The Protectors now with their reloaded stud launchers fire them at Kritanta's feet. Karkon and KoKo jump on his arms and climb up to its neck ready to strike. Artack goes to his lab and throws dangerous chemicals at the monster. Vor and I build a catapult to launch a boulder at it. The Toa Okoto all strike together with our elemental powers. Unfortunately with one strike from his mighty tail knocks all of us on the ground away! He then brushes Karkon and KoKo off.} Everyone: *Gets off the ground.* Me: Ah Ha! I got an idea! *I take the Golden Skull Spider mask from the Protector of Fire and run over to Baka.* You all hold if off! {I walk over to Baka, who looks sad} Baka: *Sigh* My first pet... Turned out to be evil Me: Yeah.. I hate it when that happens buddy, but you can't sit around while it destroys Okoto Baka: *Crosses arms* I can't do anything to stop it. I'm just a little kid Me: Oh really? What if you wore this? *I show him the Golden Skull Spider mask* Baka: Why don't you let someone more heroic than me wear it? Me: Well Baka, later on if life if you don't stop Kritanta, you'll feel guilty about it. You'll want closure. I can't let you miss out on that Baka: But I don't want to fight my pet Me: I know, but look on the bright side. You'll get to be a hero. You want to be like Karkon don't you? Baka: Pfft, why would I want to be like Karkon? He has no sense of humor Me: I know you look up to him Baka: *Takes the mask* Fine, I'll do it {Kritanta is nearly upon the fire village, but then Baka appears in front of him.} Kritanta: Ah yes, my "owner" I can finally crush you. I hated sliding down on that slide! Baka: *Puts on Golden Skull Spider mask.* No, not today Kritanta! You... Will obey! {Kritanta slowly starts to walk backwards} Kritanta: No, I shall not! Baka: You will jump into a volcano! Kritanta: No, I shall not! That's dumb!... But I.. Can't.... Resist... {Slowly walks closer to the nearest volcano, but resists.} Karkon: The volcano is too far away! Onua: Onua will make it closer! *Jumps to the volcano and pushes it closer to Kritanta* Karkon: He's not that strong! Me: Okay so I made him ridiculously strong so I can solve this problem. He'll never be depicted this strong in a comedy ever again. So what? Artack: This is bad writing. Me: This isn't suppose to be something by Shakespeare Artack {Since Kritanta is close enough to the volcano, he is compelled to fall inside. And that is how everyone beat Kritanta. What a ending. No plot holes at all. Woo.} Baka: I did it! {Everyone pats Baka on the head.} Karkon: You did good kid. Baka: Thanks! Want to play a game with me? Karkon: *Thinking* You know... Sure? End of Comedy 'Bonus Prison ' {Meanwhile in the prison of Okoto. We see the LOSS, a Skull Slicer, Kulta, and Doctor Lewa Doom. They are all bored.} Skull Slicer: Yo, Kulta. Kulta: *Ignores him.* Skull Slicer: Kulta, Kulta, Kulta, Kulta, Kulta, Kulta, Kulta. Kulta: What?! Slicer: Wa to see my General Grevious impression again? Kulta: No! Doctor Lewa Doom: I do! Kulta: Don't listen to him, he's just trying to annoy me. Slicer: Well an audience with a hidden agenda is better than no audience. DLD: *Claps* Slicer: *With a deep voice.* Ha ha ha! I have 4 arms! I will destroy the Jedis! LOSS: *Growls* Kulta: Nobody can understand you, when you speak like that! DLD: This is a terrible impression. Kulta: Oh how I wish I could get out of here. I'd destroy those Toa.. And Ekimu! {Then from the shadows. Umarak steps out.} Umarak: Ha ha ha! Sorry Kulta, but there's a new bad guy in town. I shall destroy the Toa like a predator. They are my prey. Kulta: Oh gosh, I hope you're not going to use hunting metaphors every time you speak. Umarak: What's wrong with hunting metaphors?! Slicer: He has antlers. Ha ha! *Points* DLD: Please let me out! Umarak: I shall capture them with my Shadow Traps. *Accidentally steps in one.* Ow ow ow! Worse than stepping on a LEGO! End of Comedy. 'Episode 5 ' It is a nice day on Okoto. The sun is shining, the birds are singing. It is really just a good day. Outside Vor and I are talking.} Me: Okay Vor, so the hut is getting kind of crowded. And with more characters coming soon we need more space, and to make more space... We need widgets, so you're getting.. That's right a job! Vor: A job me? Well... Anything to serve the creator. *Vor salutes me and runs off screen.* Me: Well I'm off to research what other character to bring in this crazy place. *I walk off screen.* {Meanwhile Karkon is the forest training. He is showing off his moves by destroying trees with his tentacles. Baka is hiding behind one of the trees watching him.} Baka: *Picks up a rock and throws it at Karkon hitting his head. He then hides behind the tree again.* Karkon: Ow! Who threw that? Baka: *Imitates a Gukko bird... Rather badly.* Karkon: Baka.. Kid... What are you doing?? Baka: *Comes out behind the tree.* I was speaking Gukkoese Karkon: That's not a word. Baka: We need to speak in code, The Makuta may be watching! Plus this forest could become charred! Karkon: No need to worry... I doubt the Makuta are a species in this continuity. Plus I doubt we'll be seeing him for a while . Baka: But... What if Teridax comes to this universe! Karkon: Like that would ever happen. Why are you stalking me? Baka: I need to defend myself, so I was watching you to learn how to become... A Toa! *Baka tries to copy Karkon's moves but he falls down.* Karkon: So.. You want to become a Toa? Baka: *Nods* Karkon: Well then I can certainly train you! Come! *He holds Baka's hand.* {Meanwhile behind him... Umarak aims his bow at them.} Umarak: Just a little closer..... *He walks closer.. But his antlers get caught in a Skull Spider web tangling him up.* Argh! Get these infernal things off of me! *He tries to free himself but gets more stuck.* {We go back to Vor... Who is outside of a cafe. The cafe reads.... Rakoro Cafe. He walks inside and sees a Onu-Matoran with a chef hat on.} Chef: *Sounding just like JK Simmons* Hello and welcome to the Rakoro Cafe! I am of course Rakoro! {Spider-Tahu comes up to the counter... With webbing dragging plates everywhere.} Spider-Tahu: Uhhhh you don't by chance have any scissors? Rakoro: *Rakoro's head tilts back in a circular motion... His eyes turn from blue to red...* HOW DARE.... You be unsatisfactory in my service. Of course we have napkins YOU BRUTE... For you good sir. Spider-Tahu: Uh.. You know what... I think I'll just be going. Rakoro: *Destroys a table in a fit of rage.* {Vor walks up to Rakoro} Rakoro: *Stomps on his chef hat* Vor: Anger issues? Rakoro: Yes, but this self help book by Kapura has been helping me. *Tears the book in half.* Vor: I would like a job... To appease the creator! Rakoro: As long as that doesn't involve live sacrifice, I'm willing to give you a job. {They shake on it.} Rakoro: Your job will be waiting tables, you will decide what our customers will order Vor: Shouldn't we let the customers decide that? Rakoro: Have you seen the slogan? {We see that Rakoro Cafe's slogan is "We BOSS YOU around." } Vor: Point taken. Rakoro: We don't get a lot of customers, probably because of the McBingzak's down the street! I'll probably throw eggs at it later. Umarak: Now if you excuse me, I'll be taking my Shadow Trap and be leaving! KoKo: You're not even going to attack us? Umarak: Not yet! A hunter likes to get to know his prey! Baka: That dramatic entrance was all for nothing! It doesn't even advance the plot! Umarak: Ha ha ha! I'm wasting your time! Ha ha ha ha ha! {Umarak seeps back into the shadows.} Karkon: I can still see you. {Umarak moves a few feet back.} Umarak: Now? Karkon: Yes. {He does it again.} Umarak: Now? Karkon: I have night vision! Umarak: Oh. *Runs into the forest.* Baka: He forgot the Shadow Trap. Karkon: *sigh* {Back to Vor, who is sweeping.} Vor: *humming the mask of light theme* Rakoro: No stop! you're sweeping wrong! Vor: I did not realize there was a wrong way to sweep Rakoro: It's wax on and wax off Vor: Pardon? Rakoro: That's the right way to do everything Vor: I do not see how this is helpful Rakoro: *Smacks Vor* Vor: I do not understand... *Sees birds* {Back to Karkon and the others.} Karkon: That guy is going to cause some trouble, I should go after him! You all stay here and protect Baka. KoKo: *Reading a Japanese book.* Hey! Koko means "here" in Japanese! Baka: My name means "Idiot" in Japanese. 2016! Lewa: Well.. that's pretty demeaning Baka: We're trying to make it ironic {Back in the forest, Karkon is chasing Umarak.} Umarak: *Laughing evily.* Karkon: Ugh! He's one of those villains. {Umarak suddenly disappears from sight!} Karkon: *Walking slowly looking for Umarak, suddenly he steps in spider webs!* Umarak: *Jumps out.* Ah ha! i have caught you with the very thing that capture me! A chekhov's gun! Or a Chekhov's Spider-Gun if you will! Point is you're trapped! Mu haw haw haw haw! Karkon: ....... Umarak: All trapped like this. Can't escape. Karkon: *Headbutts Umarak* Umarak: *Falls down a hill, while he is falling a ringing cellphone that says "Call from Makuta" falls out. Umarak tries to grab it. He grabs it with his mouth falling into spider webs. He tries to answer it but all Makuta hears is mumbles.* Phone: Umarak! Answer me properly! Umarak: *Grabs the phone with his hand* Yes, Umarak speaking Phone: How is the hunt for the mask of Control going? Umarak: Well.. that kind of depends on your point of view... I think its going splendid! Phone: You're lying Umarak: What no I'm not! I'd never do that! Karkon: *Shouting* Are you talking on the phone?! Umarak: Shush you! Baka: My exposition powers are telling me that Karkon is in trouble! KoKo: Wow! What a handy plot device! Baka: Everyone follow me! {They all go into the forest where they find Karkon tied up in spider webs.} Karkon: You make one joke about this and you're de--smashed. Darn it that felt so unnatural! Baka: You're not very nice to the people here to save you. Everyone keep an eye out for Umarak! Umarak: *Makes bear noises* KoKo: He's here! Umarak: But my goat imitation was supposed to scare you away! Baka: We must get rid of him! Quick KoKo create some ice around Kopaka! {KoKo does causing Kopaka to slip.} Kopaka: Not slipppppinnggg. *He drops his sword and it flies into the spider-webs cutting, freeing Umarak.* Baka: Lewa! Tornado! Uniter! Lewa: *Makes a tornado and it carries away Umarak.* Baka: Now someone free Karkon! {Karkon is freed by someone.} Karkon: That was mildly impressive Baka. Maybe you'll have what it takes to be a Toa leader some day. Baka: *Excitely* Really? Karkon: Really. End of Comedy 'Bonus Prison II ' {The tornado that was carrying Umarak conviently lands him right next to the prison.} Kulta: Well, well, well looks who's back Doctor Lewa Doom: Your set designer! Kulta: What?! HOW DARE YOU BRING MY SET DESIGNER INTO THIS? DLD: Your set designer is so fat he--- Umarak: Enough! {All the prisoners shut up.} Umarak: *Shoots the prison doors freeing everyone.* Kulta: Freedom! DLD: Now I can accomplish my revenge! Umarak: Wait! We need to work together! Mysterious Voice: I agree. {They all turn around to see Makuta Teridax! With his butterfly wings.} Kulta: Who are you? Skull Slicer: Why do you have butterfly wings? Teridax: I am the Makuta! Umarak: No you're not! Makuta doesn't look like that? Teridax: The true Makuta! I tied that fake up. With this team.. We shall destroy the Toa and conquer this universe! Umarak: By getting the mask of Control? Teridax: Yes, but there is another threat besides the Toa. Kulta: That new ice Toa! Teridax: *Makes a picture of the characters in this series.* These are refugees from my universe! They must be destroyed too! LOSS: *Growls at the sight of me.* Kulta: KoKo! Skull Slicer: *General Grevious voice* That Jedi Karkon beat me up! DLD: I don't know these people! Teridax: Fortunately.. I've used my influence to corrupt some other refugees to destroy them! {Several members of the BIONICLE Forum come out from the shadows corrupted by Shadow.} End of Comedy Category:Blog posts